We are abandoning ourselves when we allow ourselves to make up thoughts about the future that scare us. This would be like saying to a child, “You are going to end up alone. No one will ever love you. You will be out on the streets with no food and no help.” Saying this to a child would be considered child abuse, yet many people tell these same things to themselves over and over when there is no objective truth to these statements.

• Once we have created fear with our negative thinking, we try to avoid the fear with our various addictions.

Avoid responsibility for creating our fear by turning to addictions is another self-abandonment. This is like offering a frightened child a cookie instead of addressing the source of the fear. The self-abandonment creates deep inner emptiness and aloneness, which perpetuates the addictive behavior. It also creates neediness, leading to pulling on others for love, approval and attention.

• Addictive behavior perpetuates the original fears – an endless vicious circle of self-abandonment.

Moving Beyond Fear and Addiction

There really is a way out of this! While the process of moving beyond fear and addiction is simple, it is not easy. It takes deep commitment and devotion to your peace and joy.

1) Choose the willingness to feel your painful feelings and take responsibility for creating them, rather than continue avoiding them with your various addictions. It is only when you are willing to be with your feelings rather than avoid them that you can learn about how you are creating your own pain.

2) Consciously decide that you want to learn about what you are thinking or doing that is causing your pain.

3) Dialogue with the part of you that is in fear and pain - you can think of this feeling part of you of a child within – about how you are causing the pain. Discover your thoughts and actions that are causing your pain.

4) Open to learning with a Higher Power – your own highest wisest self, an inner teacher or mentor, a guardian angel, God – about what is the truth regarding your negative thinking and what the loving action is toward yourself.

5) Take the loving action for yourself that you are guided to do in Step 4.

6) Notice how you feel. If you feel more peaceful, then you know that you have taken loving action. If not, then you need to go back through these steps to discover another loving action.

This six-step process is called Inner Bonding®. We offer a free Inner Bonding course at www.innerbonding.com.