by Robert Morgen
In the early '90s I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening after a near death experience, which I wrote about in a different article. Here's what happened next.
After I got out of the hospital after my injury, and even during my stay there, I felt that I was extremely different. At the time I accounted it to just being glad to still be alive, and for over a decade I never thought anything more about it.
Yet the fact was that I did feel extremely different and I felt driven to pursue meditation and other avenues that I'd always had a vague interest in, but never really pursued.
Now it was an imperative, so I began reading everything I could find. Unfortunately I wasn't finding much that was useful. It was about a year later that I discovered "Pathnotes of an American Ninja Master" by Dr. Glenn Morris.
It was the first I'd ever heard of kundalini, Reiki, Chi Kung and Therapeutic Touch. Within a few days I discovered a Chi Kung class near where I lived in Ft. Lauderdale and was able to barter some dreamcatchers and other odds and ends for some classes. My teacher there was also a Reiki Master, so he introduced me to Reiki also.
Over the next decade I floundered around (or so I thought) and worked a wide variety of jobs and studied a strange variety of classes in school, as well as spent a large amount of time out in the mountains or hiding out in the desert and just communing and doing various types of energy work.
A couple of years ago while living up in Glenwood Springs, CO I was again drawn to get deeper into my energy work, and entered a period of intense yoga, Reiki, chi kung and meditation.
One night while meditating I had a vision of a lotus flower, but the vision included the flower, the stem and the roots. The meaning was instantly obvious and I easily connected my energy and felt a rush up my spine and out through the top of my head. Over the next few months I went through a period that I can only describe as a karmic clean-out.
Any unresolved issue that I didn't properly deal with would keep popping up over and over until I dealt with it calmly and from my center. I had my driver's license revoked twice (during a period when I was just being hired by UPS), blew the engines on three vehicles and had a tortured series of bureaucratic battles. I had strange energy surges as my body re-wired itself and had energy releases that sent me to massage therapists and other Reiki practitioners to have cleaned out. Some of this still happens, and probably always will.
I also went through a period of balancing my chakras, and I can look back at my life in various periods and see what chakra I was in. After a few months I started trying to get away from it all. I stopped doing my yoga and meditation and entered a period that I can only describe as a mental hell. I later learned that even then I was balancing out my light and dark sides (but that's a new posting). After a few months of this I finally realized that the best way to deal with all this was to quit trying to deal with it and JUST ACCEPT IT.
Once I began relaxing into myself and wasn't fighting the changes as much, I began to really feel a deep connection to the other energy around me. Cities like Denver drove me nuts, and a casual drive through the mountains (my buddy Jeff called them 'medicine drives') would turn into an hours long meditation as I could feel the energy of all the trees and the world around me as I passed through. It was still a time of healing and I carried around a damaged feeling that was gradually lessening as I became more relaxed. At the time I was living in an old RV and just traveling around. I went back to Albuquerque for the winter and, even though things were still hard, I was learning to feel better.
Then one day in February I suddenly realized that I was still working against myself. I made a silent affirmation that I would quit working so hard at this, and that I was just going to relax, have fun and enjoy each moment and see where I was supposed to go next.
A couple of days later I got a message from Jeff that Dr. Glenn Morris (whom I'd had a chance to finally meet at a metaphysical fair the previous October) wanted me to come up for a weekend and assist with the booth at another metaphysical fair.
So back I came to Denver, and a weekend of volunteer work turned into a temporary partnership in a nonprofit and my helping with several of his kundalini awakening seminars. My training with Glenn opened up a vast world of new experiences and showed me that so many parts of my life actually made sense, and opened the way for the healing and growth that I so badly needed. Along the way I remembered that every time I had a problem or needed some direction I could just relax and affirm to go wherever I was supposed to.
The lesson for me was to have a little faith, and that having faith will work only if you commit to it and then let it happen. Even now I continue to affirm that I'll go wherever I'm supposed to go and do whatever it is that I'm supposed to do, and so far I've ALWAYS had the guidance I needed within a couple of days.
I hope this helps some of you who may be struggling with some aspects of this. This is obviously an ongoing process that's moving into its second decade and probably will never be 'finished', but at least I'm learning to enjoy the ride and go where I'm supposed to.
© 2005 Robert Morgen. Kundalini and 'Going where we're supposed to go' is an excerpt from Robert Morgen's book Kundalini Awakening for Personal Mastery (ISBN: 0977380106) Robert Morgen is a Reiki Master who currently holds a Black Belt in Hoshin Roshi Ryu and founded High Mountain Hoshin in Denver, CO. You can learn more about his books, seminars and free newsletter and events at http://www.robertmorgen.com
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